Once again, it\'s Christmas time in South Park. When all the tallies are in, Cartman is over drawn in the \"naughty\" column. He has to score one big \"nice\" to be eligible for Christmas presents this year. With the help of Santa, Mr. Hankey and Jesus, Cartman attempts to bring Christmas to the downtrodden citizens of Iraq.
The Osbournes in South Park? A naked man claiming to be Stan from the future is welcomed into the Marsh\'s home. Stan is forced to come to terms with the loser he will become in about 23 years. But, when he discovers that Butters has a \"future self\" too, he becomes suspicious. Cartman starts a new business, the business of revenge.
Infused with the spirit of Gandalf and Frodo, the boys embark upon a mythical quest as they set out to return their copy of the \"The Lord of the Rings\" movie to their local video store. Meanwhile, Butters watches his first porno.
The boys are sent away to learn \"cultural sensitivity\" and Mr. Garrison is back as the boys\' 4th Grade Teacher. Ever since Ms. Chokosondik\'s untimely demise at the end of the spring season, Stan, Kyle and Cartman have been without a teacher. Principal Victoria rescues Mr. Garrison from his stint with the \"booger- eating, pants crapping kindergarteners\" and promotes him to teach the 4th grade. Informed that fourth graders are a little too old for Mr. Hat, Garrison comes to class with a new, and even more inappropriate, assistant.
Infused with the spirit of Gandalf and Frodo, the boys embark upon a mythical quest as they set out to return their copy of the \"The Lord of the Rings\" movie to their local video store. Meanwhile, Butters watches his first porno.
Stan, Kyle and Cartman want Kenny back so badly, they\'ll try anything. They decide to build a ladder to Heaven where they expect to find Kenny and bring him back to South Park. But Kenny isn\'t the only one residing in Heaven…when we last checked, Saddam Hussein was being detained in paradise as well. As their ladder stretches skyward, the U.S. government carefully monitors the boys\' progress. Will the boys find Kenny? And, is Saddam stockpiling weapons of mass destruction in Heaven?
After a kidnapper attempts to abduct Tweek, a series of breaking news events related to child abductions begins to worry the town\'s parents. This eventually brings them to the conclusion that they must barricade themselves behind a great wall to protect their children. Fortunately for them, a local City Wok owner has just the skills the townsfolk are looking for.
When Bebe starts \"blossoming into womanhood\", the boys in South Park start to revert to Neanderthal-like creatures that fight for her affection. The girls are no help either as they constantly call Bebe derogatory names.
The boys go out to see the new edition of Star Wars: Episode V and during the previews they find out that the movie studios are planning on re-releasing more movies with digitally enhanced effects. In an effort to stop this injustice, they go off to find Steven Spielberg and George Lucas.
When the Catholic Church scandal negatively impacts church attendance in South Park, Priest Maxi travels to Rome to confront religious leaders about a solution. After intensive counseling about the issue, the boys try to understand why anyone would want to put something up their butts.